Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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