Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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