Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
