Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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