I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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