Duck Duck Cougar?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
