We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
