hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
whose ass print is on the piano?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
