I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
