When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
