i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
