Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
