Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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