Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize