If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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