i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
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She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
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I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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