people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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