found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
