So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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