I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
