thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize