I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
