i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And then my night got REAL pukey
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize