I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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