shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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