In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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