Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
please don't ironically join a cult
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