How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I AM VODKA MAN
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
