we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
