I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize