Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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