there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
