Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
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