i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
