we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
