The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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