PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
