okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
