Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
