My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
