I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
