no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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