Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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