Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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