Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
