Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
