I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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