ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
