I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Can you bring me the toilet please
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
