Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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