Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
