SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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