And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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