I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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