i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
