Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
