Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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