You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
