You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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